So this is Torah

 I once asked a guy, “You went to a college whose library system has over 10 million books. How did you feel when you got to Machon Shlomo and there were no books” (In the 1980s, MS had just a half-shelf of books in the entire yeshiva – about 15 books). He said, “I thought, so this is yeshiva.” 

In other words, he didn’t know any better. He, like most baalei teshuvah, was like a child. He was entering a strange new world. He was starting his life over. He was being asked to forget the past and rewire his brain. The entire world, the entire human race is narishkite. We have the truth. That’s what you are told. A child just accepts pretty much whatever his parents throw at him, until he sees the world and learns that there are other perspectives besides that of his parents. But that takes time. Until then, your parents own you. 

When you enter the doors of Machon Shlomo and find that there are only two classes offered – Gemara b’iyun and Chumash with Rashi, you think, oh so this is yeshiva. You had figured that there had to be a class in Hebrew, but no, that’s not necessary they tell you. You had figured they’d teach you some halacha, something about mitzvos. But no, that’s not necessary they tell you. And what about emunah, isn’t there going to be a class about God or religious principles? Nope. What about guest speakers. Wouldn’t you have that? No, that’s not necessary. When the rabbis sit at a separate table for lunch. When they avoid you as they did at Machon Shlomo, you think, so this is yeshiva. When you hear constant disparagement of all other parts of klal Yisroel, even other BT yeshivas, you think, so this is Torah. You are like a kid and your father is in the mafia. You think, so this is how life is supposed to be. 

And since Machon Shlomo discourages going to other yeshivas after they throw you out after a year or two, and since they have nothing to do with other yeshivas while you are there, you may never figure out how perverse the experience was. Most that I have spoken to do realize after a time that the place was very strange, that not learning Hebrew proved to be a real hardship, that all the condescension of the frum world was over-the-top, but the majority, like people from dysfunctional homes, never quite grasp how much damage was done to them. They know something was wrong. Pretty much every former student that I have spoken to will say that about Machon Shlomo. Yet they’ll say, I went to the Ivy League yeshiva, because that was programmed into them, even though Machon Shlomo is NOTHING like an Ivy League school. Ivy League schools offer broad content, massive libraries, world-famous faculty, diverse student bodies, gorgeous campuses, and until very recently, an environment where independent thought is generally valued. Machon Shlomo is a broken-down apartment with two classes, 15 students, and a cult-like atmosphere that is built around one person,  who is hardly ever there. The boredom and isolation of that place is something to behold. While you are going through it you think, so this is Torah.